mentality - the hardest thing to change

I've never been this upset in Malawi - I wanted to cry today.


Today marks the 2nd day of "Preschool Committee Meeting Week" for me and 2 other volunteers. As almost all 46 preschools under our supervision are NOT funded or supported by any organizations, each committee needs to work hand in hand with its community, teachers, and parents to sustain and improve the conditions of respective preschools. To that end, the committee members play such a vital role. And that's the reason why we wanted to meet with them and organize this meeting.

Today, over 90 committee members representing 11 schools showed up. After prayer (Malawian custom in villages), the program went as following:
1. committee's active involvement, cooperation with village, support system among other committees
2. current situations of each preschool
- number of kids, orphans, school fee collection, maize collection from village, vegetable garden, other income generation activities
3. the "essentials" for sustainability
- proper school fee collection, sufficient maize collection, good vegetable garden, strong committee
4. organic farming techniques
- compost, manure, mulching, biopesticide, companion cropping, other natural fertilizer
5. other income generation activity (IGA) ideas
- lots of stuff
6. budget-making for 2009

The meeting lasted for over 3 hours. We emphasized that "begging" leads them no where; they have lots of options for IGAs; and most importantly, they have necessary skills so all they need is their effort. We also provided 1kg of soya beans for each preschool in addition to bread and soft drink we bought for the participants. We really tried our best with our sincere hope that they'd be empowered and motivated to use all the knowledge we shared with them. I am certain that some will.

Right before closing the meeting, we asked if there was any questions.
One man stood up and said confidently in local language: "Now we got soya beans. But we don't have a water can for our garden."

... After long 3 hours of talking about "SELF" sustainability, THAT was all I get?
"You gave me this. Now give me that." Basically, that's what he meant.


My natural instinct told me to punch him in his face or say something like "Were you listening to me AT ALL?" I was about to cry really. All these ugly thoughts went through my head for a second. "Can't he see this is exactly why his country is poor?" "Does he know that I am doing this whole thing with my own money and time for him and his children?" "How can he be so narrow-minded?" "Should I take MY soya beans back from him?" "Am I wasting my time and money for nothing?"


I heard my supervisor emotionally say something about us volunteers in Chichewa. Something about us, selflessly dedicating our time, money, energy, and life for Malawians and their development. I heard some ladies said "Pepani (Sorry in Chichewa)." I felt ashamed of all the ugly thoughts that came our from my mind.


I swallowed all my anger, sadness, and disappointment and said;
"Development happens from YOUR 'mind' and it starts from YOU right here."



I am very angry at all those who made some Malawians become greedy beggars.
I am very angry at all those who made some Malawians stop trying to solve their problems.
I am very angry at all those who made some Malawians stop believing in their unlimited potential that each human being has, free from the differences in skin color.


I shall never forget this man's words.